The production will run for a strictly limited season at the Vaudeville Theatre between 12th November (previews from 11th November) and 5th December 2015.
The actor and novelist has written the show herself, basing it on her life and career. Tickets go on sale from 9am tomorrow (24th April).
30 Million Minutes consists of various delights and riches, with the odd irksome tribulation thrown in, as French takes audiences through the various lessons life has taught her, and the things she knows for sure.
French says: "I shall be buying new pants in honour of this exciting opportunity to bring my show into London’s glittery West End, so every audience member can relax in the knowledge that I will be fully contained and utterly fragrant at all times.
"Look, it's not a play, it's not stand up, it's not a monologue, it's not a slide show, but it's something a bit like all of those with some alarming extreme striptease thrown in. Please don't bother with it if you don't usually enjoy yourself, it's only for marvellous lovely people. All grumpy f******s should stay at home. Those of us who DO turn up, myself included, will share an evening we won't forget in a hurry. I promise that."
30 Million Minutes is directed by Michael Grandage with set and costume design by Lez Brotherston and lighting design by Willie Williams.